A Lamb among Wolves

I am not much of a writer, so theoretically, I should not be experiencing Writer’s Block. Rather it should be “Not much of a Writer’s Block”. But whatever it is, I must say the effects are pretty much the same. I can’t think of anything sensible to write. If anyone finds this blog insensible and illogical, contact me, we can be good friends. So we start off. This time I will be telling about the hardships faced by an herbivore (junkivore would be more apt) in a carnivorous society.

Living all my life at home and occasional visits to the restaurant being with my parents, I had never faced the bias that vegetarians face. But once in college, the harsh reality became visible to my myopic eyes and I realised the magnitude of the bubble I was living in. The visits to restaurants began to become ordeals for a harmless grass-eater (eater not smoker) like me where I had to bear witness to my friends gorging on my fellow beings (sniff) while I had to sit helplessly watching an empty plate (sniff sniff) awaiting my vegetarian food to be cooked which for some weird reason takes longer to cook than all other animals. Phew! That was a long sentence, but I guess you can understand the passion with which I am writing this. Even after all that wait, the dish that comes will be cauliflower, which happens to be the “state north-Indian vegetable” (read: only dish; Gobi Manchurian, Gobi fry, chilli Gobi... the list goes on) of Kerala. The ordeal still doesn't end. By this time the rest of the food would have finished and then I have to suffer the ignominy of having my food being handled around by still-hungry people. I had heard that community eating, where an entire family eats from a single plate, was present in Iran or some other country. I have to tell you my dear friends; the custom is rampant in our dear motherland itself. It is prevalent in every single college of India too (at least in mine). My plate then becomes a battleground where the rest of the meat-eaters fight it out using their blood-stained hands while I shake my head in despair trying to believe that I am still a vegetarian, though my food may have been tainted by blood.

If I thought that this bias was only in a mainly non-vegetarian Kerala, then I was sorely mistaken. I was made aware of the extreme stupidity of my assumption on a recent visit to Tambiland (as my dear friend Arun says). It was a branch tour and I was among the few vegetarians in the trip. There again I was met with the same hardships that I faced in God's Own Country. Veg. Fried rice with chicken in it, a funny look on the waiter's face when I told that I was vegetarian (was it pity I am yet unsure), waiting endlessly for paneer to come while chicken came hours back, these were just a few of my problems. I almost lost my vegetarian virginity (:-) based on my assumption, nay hope that I have not yet consumed any flesh), several times, once with the previously mentioned chicken veg. fried rice incident, another when I got chicken parantha instead of aloo parantha (the worst part was that I had to fight for my 5 Rs aloo parantha instead of the 20 Rs chicken parantha, which resulted in the MC guy starting to doubt my sanity) and God alone knows how many other times.

This outburst comes at a time when I have completed a score successfully (Happy Birthday to me!!!) as a vegetarian (or lacto-ova-vegetarian for the purists (a naive assumption no doubt)). Of course, a major majority was spent in the safety of home. Each coming day is now a struggle between me and the rest of the world as I try my level best to remain a vegan. I will be celebrating each vegan day with renewed vigour as I remain a member of the slowly becoming-extinct species of vegetarians. So protect me, campaign for me, make me a poster boy (bring on the cheerleaders) and vote for me.
Grandma, and mom this one is for you for inspiring me to remain a vegan.
Have I got over my "Not much of a writer's block"? No idea.

PS: The braces are back with a bang
PPS: Life would be boring without exaggerations.
PPPS: This last PS is just for you 4. Just to odd things out.